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10 Simple Practices for Enlightened Living
Nick Halaris
October 20, 2023
As I’ve been putting more and more writing and podcasts into the world and stepping up my game on social media, I’ve been getting a lot of fun reactions and questions from old friends and colleagues. One of the most common questions has been “Hey Nick, love your stuff but just what does a fulfilling life look like and how can I get it?” As you can imagine, this question has come in every flavor from the sarcastic (think, childhood buddies) to the truly genuine (think, someone who just signed up to the newsletter online). And I’m ok with this. Comes with the territory when you are trying to put your ideas out into the world!
Whether sarcastic or not, this is a great question and one I’ve obviously been thinking a lot about. In many ways, it’s the fundamental, perennial question of the human condition. Just what does it mean to live a fulfilling life? Well, it’s a question that is impossible to answer with the space we have here. For now, I’ll say this:
The fulfilling life is something that is possible for everyone. It has almost nothing to do with social status, net worth, or achievement but is instead about learning how to first construct an effective ego and then figuring out how to transcend it. And it’s something that you can start working on right now or at any moment, for it is a function of all the little things you do in your daily life.
Here are 10 Simple Ideas to get started:
1. Whenever you encounter another person, smile. It’s amazing how far this little gesture of kindness can go.
2. A little self-awareness goes a long way. Don’t be that person in the room who doesn’t get it.
3. If someone goes out their way to do something helpful to you, be sure to give thanks in an appropriate way. Don’t make it awkward by going overboard but also don’t be ungrateful. Then, go do something equally helpful for someone else.
4. Don’t say “yes” unless you really mean it. In other words, don’t be annoying about following through on what you just agreed to do.
5. If someone finds the courage to express something emotionally meaningful to you, make sure you honor that courage by giving your full, undivided attention. Vulnerability is the pathway to sacred connection.
6. Whatever your job may be, your real work is to take care of the people in your life. The only way to do that is to know and care about what’s going-on in their lives at all times.
7. Respond to calls, texts, and emails in a timely manner. If you are one of those people who just “cannot” do so, you are either simply trying to do too much or there’s a serious design flaw in your daily system.
8. When you need something done, pick up the phone. Relentless follow-up is the key to making progress in the world and there’s no better method than a simple phone call. People can and will hide behind emails and texts but they will respond to a call.
9. Refuse to gossip or talk badly about another person when they are not around. If you must talk about others, make sure you are only complimenting and praising.
10. Remember, there is literally no one in the entire universe like you. Don’t dishonor your uniqueness by comparing yourself to others.
The Death of Civil Discourse
As if we needed more evidence that civil discourse is dead in the world, the global response to the conflict in Israel provides the final proof. Once again, the Internet has erupted into a conflagration of useless and extreme argumentation and the fight has been spilling into the streets of cities around the world. While it’s natural for an event like the terrorist attacks in Israel to produce a great emotional response, what we’ve been seeing in the public debate is not at all natural nor is it good. Ultimately, it is a product of the poor state of our global civic infrastructure and a stark reminder of the work we have ahead.
I don’t know about you all but I am finding it exceedingly frustrating to live in a world where it feels like we have to be so damn careful all the time. Has the Internet made fools of us all? It feels that way, that’s for sure.
In all this ridiculous discourse, the only winner is the Internet itself, which seems to be capturing more and more human attention at lower and lower levels of sophistication. I know this is hard to believe these days, but it’s actually possible to hold more than one complex idea in your head at the same time. You can be staunchly against Hamas and terrorism and, at the same time, understand that the hopeless situation for Palestinians living in Gaza is wrong and certainly a contributory factor to the outburst of violence. You can be pro-Israel while also believing that that things in Gaza and the West Bank need to change.
Look, we’ve probably always been predisposed to thinking things like “you are either with me or you are against me” and grossly oversimplifying our complex world but in the last few decades these tendencies have been running amok. I think we can all agree that Web 1.0 and 2.0 technologies, though great, haven’t exactly been benign. We humans have been blessed with a mind capable of understanding and imagining at an astonishing degree of complexity, yet we argue with each other online on terms that simply betray our potential for intelligence. Did we open Pandora’s box when we designed all this technology or have we all just lost our collective minds? Or maybe the conspiracy theories are right and this was the grand plan of our techno-overlords after all. Whatever the case, I want out!
As much as we like to laugh at memes and videos, what’s happening is no longer funny. For, we are facing a world where our debates and disputes are increasingly manifesting in real world violence. The danger here is obvious. It’s also a reminder that the work of freedom is never quite done in the world. I’m convinced that it is the unique historical task of this generation of Americans to do what’s necessary to preserve freedom in the world. We have a huge responsibility before us. To paraphrase from Lincoln, “it remains for us, the living, to dedicate ourselves to the great task” of ensuring that “government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth.”
How might we do this?
Let’s start by agreeing that we have a moral imperative to repair and rebuild our civic infrastructure.
Let’s do something about these powerful media technologies that we have unleashed upon the world. Let’s find an antidote to their echo-chamber tendencies and their dumbing-down effects and not be afraid to tell the powerful companies behind these technologies that enough is enough.
Let’s work to reestablish the integrity of the 4th Estate by finding business and funding models for the press that are immune from both corruption and the worst of the Internet’s incentive structures.
Let’s reform campaign finance law and establish more accessible channels for civic involvement so politics doesn’t remain the playground of the elite.
Let’s rebuild a spirt of fellowship and community by pursuing service-based programs and a reimagined civics education.
In our personal lives, let’s refuse to engage in discourse in the corrupt ways of the Internet. Let’s choose civility, reason, empathy, and compassion and refuse anger, hate, divisiveness, and oversimplification. In other words, let’s be civil once again.
Let this be our platform for America.
Deep down, I think we all know what we have to do. The question
of our lives is whether we will find the courage to do it.
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